Consider this an intro course to sugaring!
I’ve put together all the basic information you need if you are considering becoming a Sugar Baby. First, you need to learn what being a Sugar Baby is all about. After that, you need to think about whether it’s the right choice for you. Most importantly, you need to understand how to keep yourself safe. I’ve also included tips, tricks, and resources so that you can be a successful Sugar Baby!
Sugaring is essentially being given gifts in exchange for you company. The type of company that you provide usually influences the kind of gifts that you receive. Sugar Daddies are usually older men who have a surplus of money, but lack intimacy and social stimulation. Sugar Babies are typically very social, young, and pretty, but lack the funds to get the things they want in life. Sugaring arrangements can come in many forms and all provide different benefits—Sugar Babies set their own limits and comfort zone, Sugar Daddies set the benefits they are willing to provide for what girls offer.
Generally, sugaring starts online (through sugaring apps or dating sites) and then progresses to a first date. On the initial date, the Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby decide if the vibe is right and they want to continue to see each other. Always follow these rules to make sure you have a safe and positive sugaring experience.
The average date usually includes some sort of activity (usually dinner, drinks, shopping, etc.) and then some adult fun. Sugar Daddies crave attention and looooove talking about themselves, so sometimes it is just one or the other, or even a special event. Either way, expectations are generally set before the initial meeting, and then both parties can decide where they want to go from there. Communication and mutual respect are key—just like in any other relationship.
Is Sugaring Right For You?
Desperate times call for desperate measures, but you should never get into sugaring if you are uncomfortable with casual sex. Casual sex is a cornerstone of sugaring, so you really have to ask yourself if you are totally fine with having sex without any attachment. If you consider yourself a really sexual person with a really sex-positive attitude, then sugaring may be a great fit for your lifestyle. Additionally, you should ask yourself if you are able to enjoy sex with men you are not really attracted to—can you get off if you close your eyes and think about someone else?
After you’ve determined that you 100% willing and able to physically engage with Sugar Daddies, you need to consider if you are absolutely morally opposed to infidelity. The reality is that a lot of Sugar Daddies are cheating on their wives. You can see it as these men are going to cheat anyway, so it might as well be with you; or that it’s better that it’s with you (who is STD-free with no feelings involved) than having an affair with his secretary. If you cannot participate in infidelity, then you will not have a lot of luck being a Sugar Baby. You can definitely still try (there are plenty of divorced men too), but you don’t want to put yourself in a situation where you find out they are married after you’re already involved with them and then you feel like you broke your own moral code.
Fetishes are also a pretty common part of sugaring. Whether the Sugar Daddy has a foot fetish and wants to massage your feet for an hour, or whether he wants you to wear a school girl costume and call him “Daddy”, there are many guys out there who want their fantasies indulged. If this makes you cringe, then you may want to reconsider becoming a Sugar Baby. Otherwise, you should be very clear upfront that you are not into fetishes.
Another aspect of being a Sugar Baby is being seen in public with your Sugar Daddy. If you live in the town you grew up in and are afraid your parents/relatives/classmates might see you and ask questions, then sugaring may not be the best option for you. If you live in a big city away from where your family lives, and are pretty secure in your ability to remain anonymous, then you are good to go!
The last—and most important—thing you need to consider when starting out as a Sugar Baby is whether you can afford your basic needs (food, rent, bills, etc.) without the help of a Sugar Daddy. While sugaring is a great way to get extra things that you could otherwise not afford, you never want to put yourself in a situation where you are financially reliant on a Sugar Daddy to the point where you feel that you can’t leave the situation if you want to. This is an issue of safety, and should definitely be heavily considered before you start sugaring. If you have a steady source of income that meets your basic needs, then you are ready to be a Sugar Baby!
I’m going to list some general safety tips in this section, but there are also important safety tips throughout this post and the other sugaring posts. Be sure to read all the way through so that you get all the information!
- Use a fake name. Pick something that believable, common, and close to your first name (so you’ll remember to respond to it!). You can use your middle name, an abbreviation of your name that you don’t go by (ex. ChristineàKristy), or something really anonymous (Marie, Jessica, Anna, etc.) so that it will be virtually impossible for them to invade your personal life (like finding you on facebook).
- Be careful giving out your phone number. Usually you would give a potential Sugar Daddy your phone number, but make sure that it is unlisted and is not connected to iMessage (which could reveal your email which is connected to personal information like your real name).
- Beware of using Uber. Uber is a fantastic way to get around of cheap. However, if a Sugar Daddy is sending an Uber to pick you up, you should avoid giving him your actual address. Have the Uber pick you up in a public place (mall, Walmart, McDonald’s, gas station, etc.). Also, make sure you are ready to be picked up so that the Uber driver doesn’t call the Sugar Daddy and ask why he’s at a McDonald’s and not a residence.
- Try not to host. Some Sugar Babies opt to host their Sugar Daddy dates at their home, but this means that if you try to end things with them, they will always know where you live. Sugar Daddies may ask you to host because they don’t want to charge a hotel room to a credit card their wife has access to—but you need to set clear boundaries on what feels best for you.
- Always tell someone where you are going and who you will be with. If you have a roommate, best friend, or sister that you knows about your sugaring lifestyle, let them know where you are going and when to expect you home. That way if something happens they can help you.
- Never agree to be reimbursed. If a potential Sugar Daddy asks you to pay for something (like a hotel room, lingerie, etc.) and promises to reimburse you for it later, DON’T DO IT. This is how Sugar Babies get scammed. Never put up any money. Don’t even bring your wallet with you.
- Stay away from places you frequent. You don’t want to end up in a situation where somebody from work/school/life recognizes you and asks who your Sugar Daddy is and you have to come up with a lie. This is for your emotional and personal well-being.
- Use condoms. Use condoms and get tested often, no exceptions. You need to keep yourself safe and healthy—besides, if you get an STD then your sugaring days are over.
- Don’t do anything for free. Don’t have sex until you have not worked out a system for compensation because he might be scamming you. I know a few Sugar Babies who have had sex on the first date with zero benefit to themselves, thinking that they were giving their potential Sugar Daddy a free trial—only to never hear from the guy again. However, meeting with someone to get to know them a little before committing to starting a sugaring arrangement can be done without an expectation of gifts (they should pay for your meal though).
Tips & Tricks
Lastly, here are some general tidbits of knowledge that you might find useful on your sugaring journey.
- The main websites for finding a Sugar Daddy tend to be:
– Sudy [app]
-Tinder [app]—specify that you’re looking for a SD/SB relationship
- Unlike regular online dating, the men are receiving lots of messages from women, so you actually have to put effort into messaging potential Sugar Daddies first—if you sit around waiting for them to come to you, you might miss out on some great opportunities!
- Make a list of things that you want, and try to work them into conversation with your Sugar Daddy over time, so he knows what types of gifts to buy you. Examples:
–New cellphone—“sorry, I didn’t get your text until now because my phone is so crappy…”
–Lingerie—”I want to wear something sexy for you, let’s go to Victoria’s Secret so you can pick something out” (once you’ve got him at the mall, you can try to swing perfume, clothes, or anything else you want)
–Fancy dress/outfit—“I’d love to go to that restaurant/bar/casino/event you suggested, but I don’t have anything nice enough to wear…”
–Gym membership—“I’ve been trying to work out at home, but results are so much slower than when I used to have a gym membership…”
- Always express tons of enthusiasm—just generally be really excited about every date, every gift, and everything he’s saying.
- Read the big news stories before first dates so you have something to talk about and/or you can give an informed response if he brings it up.
- That being said, try your best to stay generally neutral on politics and religion. You don’t want to say anything controversial because in a sugaring arrangement that stuff really isn’t relevant (even if you are a passionate advocate in your private time).
- Never talk about other/past Sugar Daddies, boyfriends, or even male friends. Pretend that this is your first experience with sugaring, and that you have never really dating much in your personal life.
- Avoid talking about your family. While they may talk about their family, avoid talking about yours because although Sugar Daddies want you to be a real humanized person, they don’t like to think of you as someone’s daughter/sister/etc.
- Don’t remind Sugar Daddies of their age. Avoid saying things that remind your Sugar Daddy how old is compared to you. Examples of things to avoid are:
– “My dad liked that band too”
– “I wasn’t born when that happened”
– “You’re lucky tuition costs were so low when you were in school”
– “People my age…”
– “People your age…”Good luck & have fun!!!