Top 10 Thirstiest Text Messages

There’s nothing worse than when you are going about your day, minding your own business, when all of a sudden BAM! you get a dick pic in your inbox. Now that guys are slowly learning that unsolicited dick pics are bad, they’ve developed a not-so-sly arsenal of slimy text messages to try to get in your pants. These texts are totally fine if you are dating and/or interested in someone, but from random dudes you just met on Tinder it is so gross. If you are a single girl with a phone, you’ve definitely gotten a few of these thirsty texts before! Continue reading “Top 10 Thirstiest Text Messages”

The Men Are Trash Playlist

Recent breakup? Dude won’t take no for an answer? Coworker mansplaining to you? These songs have got you back!

I present to you a playlist for all those time you have to deal with a shitty dude:

All Men Are Pigs—Studio Killers

“I am better than you think, let me buy you a drink / C’mon, I’m not so typical at all /ALL MEN ARE PIGS”

Not Tonight—Lil’ Kim

“It was somethin’ about this dude I couldn’t stand / Somethin’ that coulda made his ass a real man / Somethin’ I wanted, but I never was pushy / The motherfucker never ate my pussy!”

Fuck Boyz, Get Money—FEMM

“I’m in love with a price tag / gimme yo number, imma give that shit right back / Fuck boys, get money!”

IDGAF—Dua Lipa

“You say you’re sorry / But it’s too late now / So save it, get gone, shut up / ‘cause if you think I care about you now / Well, boy, I don’t give a fuck!”

I Hate Boys—Christina Aguilera

“I hate boys, but boys love me / I think they suck and my friends agree!”

Targets of Men—G.L.O.S.S.

“This makeup is for my eyes / These fishnets are for my thighs / This walk is how I got through life / You want the pepper spray first or the pocket knife?”

Beg For it—Iggy Azalea

“If you don’t do this right, you’re going home alone / I guess you’ll have to beg!”

Mean—Taylor Swift

“All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic / And alone in life and mean, and mean, and mean”


Goodbye, Earl—
Dixie Chicks

“She held Wanda’s hand, as they worked out a plan / And it didn’t take ‘em long to decide / that Earl had to die / Goodbye, Earl!”

The Only Good Thing—Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

“What the Hell did I see it you?/ The only good thing you ever said was goodbye”
Guys My Age—Hey Violet

“I haven’t seen my ex since we broke up / Probably ‘cause he didn’t wanna grow up / Now I’m out and wearing something low-cut / ‘bout to get attention from a grownup”


You Suck—
Abigail Breslin

“I hate your dumb tattoo / I wish you’d fly to the moon / Where there are no girls to use or screw over”

Do It Like a Dude—Jessie J

“Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty sucker / You think I can’t get hood like you, you motherfucker / I can do it like a brother / do it like a dude / Grab my crotch / wear my hat low like you”


Black Widow—
Iggy Azalea

“You used to be thirsty for me / But now you wanna be set free / This is the web, web that you weave / So baby, now rest in peace”

You Call Me a Bitch Like It’s a bad Thing—Halestorm

“You call me a bitch like it’s a bad thing / You call me a freak like that means something / Can’t get your way, so you’re sulking”

No Scrubs—TLC

“No, I don’t want your number / No, I don’t wanna give you mine / No, I don’t want to meet you nowhere / No, don’t want none of your time”

No—Meghan Trainor

“First you gonna say you ain’t runnin’ game / Thinkin’ I’m believing every word / Call me beautiful, so original / Telling me I’m not like other girls / I was in my zone before you came along / Now I’m thinking maybe you should go”

Epic Responses to the 3 Most Annoying Questions

Over the years I have noticed that there are a few types of questions that I get that I either don’t want to answer or don’t have an answer for. I have devised several responses to combat these inquiries, buy more time, or just shut down the conversation. Continue reading “Epic Responses to the 3 Most Annoying Questions”